Ireland or Bust: The Journey of Tracing my Roots
I would like to start by saying thank you to everyone who sent such kind messages regarding my previous post — the first instalment of this series. I’m so glad that you liked “The Seed of a Dream.” It filled me with such joy to read your words of shared excitement! I left you with a real cliff hanger, so I’m sure you’re more than ready to hear the next part of my story. I’d now like to tell you about my journey of becoming a dual citizen.
In early 2024, I learned about Ireland’s Foreign Birth Registration pathway to citizenship. After seeing the digitised copy of my grandmother’s birth record, I felt a glimmer of hope. There was a real possibility that I could become an Irish citizen! Alongside my excitement though, I also felt trepidation. With my Wife’s help I had solved one problem, through finding the documentation that proved my grandmother’s birth on the island of Ireland. My next hurdle to overcome would be emotionally challenging. In order to register through an Irish grandparent, I had to prove my lineage, which meant that I would also need supporting documents connected to my father. To provide you with better context, I need to tell you a bit of backstory.
When Cynthia and I announced our engagement in February 2020 to my parents, I was met with awkward silence. Their reaction (or lack thereof) was shocking to me. My parents had already met Cynthia and even celebrated the previous Christmas with us in our shared apartment. Additionally, Cynthia was not the first woman I had dated, and my parents knew we were together. I came out to my parents ten years prior, and I thought we had already worked through their initial “hangups” with me being a lesbian. Sadly, I was greatly mistaken in thinking my parents had come to accept my authentic, proud self during that decade. Even after many attempts at having open and honest conversations, my parents ultimately chose to not attend our wedding in the Spring of 2021. This choice devastated me, to put it plainly, and it naturally led to an estrangement from my parents.
Returning to that moment in 2024, I knew that I’d have to reach out to my dad. I dreaded asking one of the people, who had hurt me so deeply, for help. Quite frankly, it was one of the last things I ever wanted to do. However, my love for Cynthia and our sweet little furbabies gave me the courage that I needed. So I set to drafting a letter. I have always found strength in the written word, and I knew that it was how I could best convey my thoughts and feelings. I would now like to share some excerpts from that emailed letter, as I think the words I wrote at that time are more potent than any summary I could give now. I have purposely redacted or changed some parts of this letter to protect my dad’s privacy as well as my own.
From: Erin
To: [Erin’s Father]
Date: April 3, 2024
Subject: Dear Dad: Grandma and Ireland
Dear Dad,
I realize that this email is out of the blue and probably comes as a surprise. I am writing to you because I have a significant request for your help. I want to be straightforward and transparent with you, so I will now explain why and what I am requesting.
I am in the process of applying for Irish citizenship through what is called a Foreign Birth Registration. This is a pathway of citizenship that the Irish government recognizes for persons who either have an Irish born grandparent or parent. Obviously, my application is on the basis of an Irish born grandparent.
One section of the application requires documents that pertain to you, as my “Irish parent.” […] Since I need to establish and prove my Irish descent, there are three documents that pertain to you that I have to submit with my application in order to be approved. I will describe these documents below and provide the exact wording as taken from the Ireland Foreign Birth Registration website.
[…]
Original civil birth certificate of Irish citizen parent (showing parental details)
Original civil marriage certificate of Irish citizen parent (if applicable) OR other change of name document (if applicable)
The third and final document that pertains to you is a “Photocopy of current state-issued photographic ID document (i.e. passport, drivers licence, national identity card) certified as a true copy of the original by a professional from the list of witnesses OR original civil death certificate (if applicable).” This is where my request comes in. Would you help me in my efforts to become an Irish citizen by providing me with this third document?
I understand that you may have some reservations, and I would like to address those now. I know and respect that you are a private person and don’t like to give out your information. I will include links to the websites (at the end of this email) that I have been referencing, so that you may review them for yourself. I will provide the Foreign offices that I have been in contact with as well. Secondly, I know that the estrangement between us is likely a factor in your decision. While we do have some unresolved issues, I know that we both still love one another and do not wish ill will.
I now want to share a bit of the reasoning behind my desire to become an Irish citizen. As you are certainly aware, the political climate in the US is very divided and has been for quite some time. This upcoming presidential election carries very real concerns for me with Trump running as a candidate. If he were to win, my safety and liberty as a lesbian woman would be at great risk. To be perfectly honest with you, since the Capitol attack on January 6, 2021, I have felt that my safety as a US citizen has been on borrowed time. Setting aside your own personal beliefs about my sexual orientation, I think we can agree that my identity and very existence as an “out” person places me in a minority group. As a minority in this country, I have to be vigilant about my safety on a regular basis. If Trump becomes president for a second term, I believe that my rights will soon be stripped away, which is already scary enough. But what scares me even more is the people who will feel emboldened to harass and attack me, simply for existing. I do not want to live in fear on a daily basis. I don’t believe that any person should be made to feel that way.
This is all to say that when I learned about the Foreign Birth Registration process, I felt a sense of hope. I feel like there is a safe place for me to go, and it also makes me happy that I would be connecting with Grandma in a way. This may sound a bit romanticized, but the idea of me moving to Ireland I think would make her smile.
I realize that this is a lot to digest. So I understand if you need to take some time to consider my request. Regardless of your decision, there is something that I want to give you. While doing the research for the Foreign Birth Registration, Cynthia helped me to find a historic document that pertains to Grandma. I have attached a copy of it to this email. It is a facsimile of a group birth record. […] When I saw this document, I honestly had goosebumps. To see a piece of paper that shows Grandma’s birth in Ireland as well as her parent’s names and occupations made me feel so connected to her and that part of my ancestry. I hope that seeing this document gives you a similar feeling of connection and rootedness.
As for my request of you, I hope that your answer is yes, because I genuinely and practically need your help. Whatever you decide though, I will accept your decision. Thank you for reading this far. I await your reply.
With love and respect,
Erin
About a month after sending this email, my parents sent me a notarised photocopy of my dad’s passport. I felt both surprised and relieved that he had decided to help me on the pathway to my Foreign Birth Registration. From that point onward, I acquired certified copies of all other supporting documents that I needed to submit with my FBR application. Between May and September of 2024, I ordered and waited for all the necessary documents to arrive at my home address. In late September, just a few days after printing my completed application, Western North Carolina and many areas within the Southeast United States were hit by Hurricane Helene.
On Friday, September 27, 2024 my adopted home of Asheville and the surrounding towns were devastated by historic floodwaters, landslides, and gale force winds. It’s difficult to put into words just how frightening it was to survive a storm like Helene. Prior to that point, I had never lived through a natural disaster of such magnitude. I certainly never expected to endure the terrible power of a hurricane, especially while living approximately 300 miles (~483 kilometres) from the coast. My family and I were some of the lucky ones. Our house made it through the storm completely undamaged, despite being surrounded by forest. There were dozens of trees that fell all around our home. But by some miracle, not a single tree landed on our cottage or vehicles.
Because of the catastrophic damage to our neighbourhood and community, we were without power, running water, and even cellphone service. Once the roads had been cleared enough, we made the tough decision to temporarily leave our home. Our dear friends, who are part of our chosen family, welcomed us into their home in Georgia, which had thankfully been spared from Helene’s destruction. This period of self-evacuation and seeking refuge meant that I had to delay sending in my FBR application. I had nearly everything ready to mail, but I still needed a notary who knew me personally to witness my signature on the application.
Finally though in October 2024, we were able to return home. With my application and supporting documents notarised, I then mailed everything to Ireland on Samhain (pronounced “SOW-in”) or also known as Halloween. Sending off my application for Irish citizenship on this ancient Celtic festival felt very timely. It also happens to be my favourite holiday, so it was an especially fitting day for me! A little over a week later, I received confirmation from the Ireland Department of Foreign Affairs that my application had arrived to their office. This email came into my inbox just a few days after the US Presidential Election results were announced. To my dismay, Donald Trump was reelected. My fear and anxiety slowly grew, like a crushing weight on my chest, with each passing day. As a way of comforting myself, I re-read that email from Ireland countless times and kept my hope alive.
Life continued on, as it does. The months passed one by one. Autumn turned to Winter, and Winter to Spring. Spring blossomed into Summer, and I felt my anticipation building. At the time that I applied, the estimated waiting period for FBR applications was about 9 months. Like an impatient child counting down to their Summer vacation, I was more than ready to know if my application would be successful. Of course though bureaucratic processes take time, and I would soon find myself oscillating between excitement and worry.
It was a Saturday in September 2025 when I was staying with my best friend in Georgia, while she recovered from surgery. After her doctor cleared her for light walking, the two of us along with her daughter decided to have a “Girls Day” by wandering around the mall followed by a cosy movie night at their home. Little did I realise that a long-awaited email had arrived to my inbox. It wasn’t until that afternoon when I checked my email app and saw the first part of the subject line: “Application for Foreign Birth Registration…”
Before I could even finish reading, my heart began to race! I immediately ran out of the bathroom. (Yes, I was checking my email on my phone in the bathroom. We all do it. 🤭) I yelled out to my best friend, as I ran past her in the hallway to go grab my laptop, “Call Cynthia on speaker! I got an email from Ireland!” I didn’t want to open the email without my Wife and best friend. Plus the content creator side of me knew I needed to film what was about to happen. I had a good feeling.
I frantically set up my phone and began filming. Serendipity saw to it that my best friend’s son, sister, and her partner walked through the front door at that very moment. I opened my laptop with shaking hands and pulled up my email. Cynthia listened on speaker phone, and everyone waited with bated breath. The room grew still for what was only a few seconds, but for that moment it felt like time had slowed down. The months of waiting, the years of dreaming all flashed through my mind as I opened the email and read aloud:
“Congratulations, your application for Irish citizenship through entry on the Foreign Births Register has been successful. A certificate has now been printed and posted to the address provided by you. Please note that your application will be sent via Registered post and someone will need to be available to sign for the envelope.”
The room erupted in celebration! A wonderful cacophony of clapping, wooing, and words of congratulations echoed around me as tears of joy filled my eyes. Mine and Cynthia’s dream of moving to Ireland was becoming a reality, and we were one giant step closer. It didn’t hit me until much later that this also meant I was officially an Irish citizen! Once I was back at home in North Carolina, my FBR certificate arrived in the mail. I opened the parcel on a sunny October afternoon with my Wife by my side. We cried happy tears together as we looked at my certificate and embraced on our porch.
As I recount these memories and write these words, I’ve had tears streaming down my face. I feel such immense gratitude and happiness right now, just as I did then. The emotional journey of becoming an Irish-American citizen is something that I feel incredibly privileged to have traveled. I wish so much that my grandmother could have lived to experience this wild ride with me. I think she would have been tickled to know that one of her grandchildren became a dual citizen just as she was. Even though I didn’t get the chance to share this part of my life with her, I like to think that she lent me her Irish luck from the other side of the veil. I would like to dedicate this second instalment of this special series to my grandmother.
Thank you, Grandma, for giving me this chance. Thank you for being brave when you, yourself a young woman, immigrated to America. I understand now the sparkle that I often saw in your eyes when you spoke of Ireland to me as a child. I too love this verdant country with such depth and pride.
I must pause my story here, dear readers, for I am spent. Thank you for being so invested in this series. If you would like to see this part of my story in a visual medium, please visit my YouTube channel for the video I made. I hope you enjoy it! Until next time…
Cover image taken when I visited Ireland for the first time during the Summer of 2011.
